angst cycle (iii) — [А] (vii)

i’ve written a goodbye note
apologising for hurting her
i don’t think i’ll send it
i’m not quite ready
although it’s necessary

it’s hard to do
though staying here
would be worse
and going back
impossible

the thing is
if i send it
that will be
the final
thing

and i’ve still a little
stupid hope
that she herself
will stop being
so wrong

that won’t happen
the hope
is more insane
than
the poison

at least
the poison
had a reasonable
cause