angst cycle (iii) — [б] (i)

dammit
a moment of inattention
ok nosiness
and i spotted something
that historically i would have known
been told

and the fucking flame
fires itself again
muscles ready for conflict
that won’t
with a thousand miles of shut tin
happen

but
equally
in my today bag
is almost the final duty
being paid off
a day’s work
finally allowed to happen

one more thing
when it becomes possible
fifteen minutes
that’s all
and i can finally
slam the damned door
on the most intense betrayal
of unsought and made promise
i’ve ever experienced