angst cycle (iii) — [с] (iv)

and this is this is
half a lifetime’s behaviour change
behaviour change
this is

not

going

to

be

easy

but the indirect
opposite directiveness
is fucking wrong too
more so even

not

going

to

be

easy

if i must
be hard awake determined
cold in the glaring eyes
bright in the head

is that really
the best mindset
for awakening
the mindset opposite

let alone
the what the fuck reaction
i suspect i’ll get

but no action inaction
is anti–solution

not

going

to

be

easy

but is going to be guided
my hard eyed ice
the guide the spear
parting the cold white storm
opening
opening

not

going

to

be

easy