angst cycle (iii) — [ђ] (i)

so i looked back
at the now
of that achievement then
and my name
the list of names
my name
nowhere

the emotion
stings inside me
denial
the list
i am being
denied
the small history
megatron
i am
a not

but
i
it’s not so simple
is it
i closed i cut
i had to
and perhaps
probably
the denial
it could be respect
my decision to

i knew the cut
would sting
but it stings
the most
when the sting
isn’t
expected

not
tensed the emotion muscle
before the hit
not tensed
before