angst cycle (iii) — [є] (ii)

so there i was
a long time ago
young and spotty
well young
forget the other cliché

london
fairly city centre
walking done
some forgotten
to me forgotten
slightly seedy
centre street

young
wanting to
break a barrier

look
while you’re hearing this poem
inside your head
play something screechy
will you
i dunno
perhaps
a violin
high pitched
in a style
you don't normally hear

maybe
some poor animal
being told
something horrible

you see
this story
i find
immensely embarrassing
very bad

good knows
who the woman was
resembled someone
then she was a woman
i was young
now
i’d probably think
girl

whatever

god knows
but she was
a stranger
i said hello
she smiled
i said how much
she was confused
i said
well i didn’t
but it was obvious
i meant
for sex
she grew very embarrassed
said she didn’t mean
i asked
how much
she said she didn’t mean
i was
a one tracked
idiot
not knowing the fuck
how to behave
i was
she said she didn’t mean
i walked off
in disgust
now with myself
not realising
i’d backed her
into a corner
with myself
the disgust
not knowing

but
the only harm
was social

for fuck’s sake
world
send your kids
to mixed schools